by americanartmuseum

Question by Protecting the baby: Two Nieces in foster care? I need some advice please!! Sorry but it’s a long story…?
Some of you might remember me asking questions about this but for those who don’t, I’ll give you a little background. I have a cousin who is a drug addict. She has a 9 year old and a 4 month old. She also had a son that was 3 months old when he died (he would be about 3 now). He was born at 5.5 lbs and died at 7 lbs (3 months later). It was ruled SIDS and my whole family turned a blind eye to the fact that she did drugs the whole time she was pregnant with him and neglected him after he was born. When the little fellow died, my family said it was only a matter of time because he was so “sickly”. Then she got pregnant with the baby she has now. She, once again, did the drugs and the baby was being neglected. At it’s 6 week check-up, the baby had only gained 1 oz. but again, my family turned a blind eye. No one has gotten attached to this baby because of the prior incident with the boy. I called DSS on her. They went in and took the baby to the doctor (and verified that she had only gained 1 oz). Then the monitored my cousin for a week, took the baby back again and she had gained a whole pound! To me that spells neglect. DSS decided to keep monitoring her and said that they wouldn’t close the case until she had doubled in size. About a month later, I get a call from another cousin saying that the mother had gotten drugged out of her mind and given the baby Mike’s Hard Lemonade in a bottle and the baby was throwing up. My family decided to cover for her by taking the baby to an aunt’s house and watching the baby for her. I called the police but by the time they got there, the baby had been moved and they couldn’t find her. The next day, I again called DSS. This time, the children were taken away and placed with the aunt that kept the baby that night. I was a little mad that they placed with her because she’s the one that kept the baby, knowing it was throwing up alcohol all night. She didn’t want to get her niece in trouble so she didn’t take the baby to the hospital. In the end, I did decide it was the best location for the kids because she could take them to school and she could take care of them better in a short term setting than me. I live an hour away and the oldest would have had to change schools (and they only placed them for 3 months). DSS said that they were only giving the mother 3 months to change or they weren’t playing around with her and they would terminate her rights. I have pretty much been thrown out of my family because of this. I knew that they would know I’m the one that called but at the time, it was the best thing for those kids. I truly believe with all my heart that she was trying to kill this baby (starvation, alcohol, etc.). Anyway, it’s been a month (since they were removed) and I haven’t seen anyone in my family until this weekend. My grandfather was having a birthday party and I went (I was raised by my grandparents and refuse to not see them because of the situation because i have a lot of respect and love for them). My other cousins were telling me that the aunt that has the kids does NOT want to adopt them but they didn’t think my cousin would get them back because she isn’t doing anything to help herself. One of my cousins said they are looking to give the kids to the fathers. The oldest child’s dad has never seen her and she is 9 years old. He has always known that she exists but he has always denied her and doesn’t want anything to do with her. I doubt he would take her. The baby’s dad is a drug addict also and he was raising a little girl of his own (she is about 7, I think) and she was removed from his home by DSS (right before he got the new baby) and she was placed outside his family. I doubt he would be able to get custody, right? My husband and I are foster care licensed and we would take the children (Both of them) but I’m not sure we are even being looked at because I know my family thinks that’s why I called DSS in the first place. It’s not the reason and if it was, why would I have suggested to the social worker that my aunt could take them better than us? My family just spends so much time covering for her and her mistakes all the time, no matter who they have to blame. So my question is this…..What do I do now to let them know we would take the kids if they need to be placed????? Theorically, I would like for my cousin to get them back. They are her children. My family is trying to remodel her house for her to get them back (it needed to be tore down because it’s a mess) instead of addressing the drug abuse. They think DSS will see a shiny new home and let the kids move back with her. I don’t think DSS is buying it and can see that she is not addressing the drug issue.

I know this is long but any advice I can get would be appreciated. I don’t want these children split up and placed outside of our family (even though my family is all crazy most of the time).
I’m not worried about dealing with my family because I knew I was getting into this knee deep when I called DSS. I knew my family would be like this. I just refuse to have this baby’s blood on my hands because I didn’t do anything. I will have to be the one answering to God on my judgement day if I had did nothing.

Best answer:

Answer by Nicky
Their mother isn’t capable of caring for her children, period. Whether it’s something that happens in the future remains to be seen. The aunt caring for the children isn’t making the best choices for their safety, that child could have died from alcohol poisoning. Call social services, let them know you’d like to take your nieces/nephews long term and keep them informed about what’s going on with your family. You do not want these children in foster care, you know the best place for them is in your home, so make sure nothing bad happens and get them where you know they’re safe.

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Question by omnisource: Sorting your Sock Drawer: How Long can You Afford to be So Smug; So Neglectful?
Share your insight, tips and pose clever sayings extolling whichever delightful aspects of your sock drawer sorting adventures have captivated you the most. Staggered, no doubt, by the sheer scope here, avoid linking massive database compendiums, these commercialized mega-portal sites cheapen the whole thing. So lets just keep it to your top, say, 17-25 favorite favorite aspects. Haikus, original Gregorian chants, lucid dreams, quatrains,(sorry no couplets) hideous squelching yelps, most things that you can do to animals without getting bitten, mixed-media projectile vomiting and co-ed long bow archery are all, of course acceptable forms of self-expression again this year.
Amusing anecdotes will be ok’d only after reviewed on a per-case basis. No more indian throat-singing and feung-shui is right out, too.
That said, go ‘head an’ tell it all.

Best answer:

Answer by Phoenix, Wise Guru
Uh, by cats like to sleep in open drawers.

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Question by sandalishus: What, if any, is the long term effects of an infant that was diagnosed with pyloric stenosis late?
My daughter had pyloric stenosis when she was 10 weeks old. Symptoms began at 2 weeks. She went 8 weeks before I finally took her to the ER. I took her to the doctor 3, even 4 X’s a week because of projectile vomiting, no bowel movements & diapers were barely wet. The last visit to the doctor before going to the ER (which was a friday) he told me give her diluted apple juice & that would help her have a bowel movement & to call him on Tuesday. The surgeons at Childrens Hospital told me that Sunday would have been too late. 2 1/2 days later she was strong enough to have the pylorotomy. My daughter is now 13 years old but has learning disabilities in school. At home she doesn’t listen, cusses @ dad & throws MAJOR tantrems. I’m not talking about the ‘normal’ unruliness of a teenager. Could this be caused from being malnurouished at a very critical developmental stage of life? Anyone ever heard of this condition causing problems later in life?

Best answer:

Answer by Buzz s
I haven’t heard of this condition causing troubles later in life, but I know that nutrition is a big thing to help with proper brain development and to look at learning disabilities as well.

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Question by Proud Stepford Wife: How long before getting symptoms are you contagious?
I had a bunch of friends and their kids over yesterday at 11 am. This morning at about 9 am, my 10 month old came down with a fever and has since thrown up 2 times. Was he contagious yesterday? Two of my friends had little babies(newborn and 2 1/2 months). I am afraid that they will get it. My baby didn’t touch them and neither did I or my 3 year old. Do you think they’ll be okay?

Best answer:

Answer by Bob
Depends on what you kid actually has but he could have been contagious 24 hours before symptoms showed up. Not much you can do about that. But kids are supposed to get sick. It makes them stronger.

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Question by : Would going to therapy be a good choice?(Warning its Extremly long)?
So, I’m 13 and i’ve been through alot and my mom thinks I should go to therapy but to me therapy sounds like a place to help crazy people /: i dont want to feel like im crazy. Anyways, I wanna see if it’s really a need for me to go. and im really sorry its gonna be long. and by the way its my first time letting it all out so yeah.

So Before i was even born my parents had arguements.i remember hearing them fight and yell when i was 4 or 5.i also remember at age 5 or 6 i got really sick.i couldnt even stand up to go to the restroom.My dad stayed with me in the livingroom and at the middle of the night i woke up and saw my mom and dad trying to chock eachother.i was scared i didnt know what to do so i just didnt let them know i was awake. and my dad passed away for a while cause of a heart attack but they revived him back.i dont remember when that was i was really little.he was always having promblems with him heart.now he has something in his artery that keeps it open.well cause of all the stuff going on my dad decided to throw my mom out of the house when i was 6.he picked me and my brother up from church and didnt tell my mom. two days my mom was home alone with my older sis.cops arrived and told my mom she had 15 minutes to pack her things and leave.my sister helped her pack and my mom when to stay with family.she told my sister to stay strong and to take care of the family.for years i would miss alot of school to go to court.i remember waking up at 530 to be downtown at 6.at fisrt my dad had custidy of all of us.my sis was the mom till she left and lived with my mom and my aunts.my dad worked all the time so me and my brother had to keep the house in order.iremember ironing and by acident burned my dads shirt and he yelled at me.also we never had food ther.and this one time has scared me ever since it happened.my dad bought only me fries.my bro came downstair to look for food but like always there wasnt any so he went upstairs.idk if he cryed.i wanted to share my fries with him but before i yelled for him my dad hide the fries and shut my mouth.now its hard for me to go out and eat somewere fancy cuz i want my bro there to see him eat.so after that my dad and grandma sold most of my toys and my bed set so i had nothin just clothes. i had a babysitter who helped us out with the chores and i remember her taking me to the store and bought me a coloring book of cats.i loved her like she was my mom since my dad didnt let me see my mom for months.finaly i visted my mom at my aunts.that was the only time when my hair was brushed.since my dad didnt know how.we slept on the floor of my lil cuzins room.she made fun of me wen i cryed wen it was time to go back with my dad.everytime me and my brother would get extremly sick and would throw up when we went to vist my mom.we wouldnt stop throwing up.we gasped for air.after a while we new my dad was making us sick to tell the courts that my mom didnt take care of us cause we were always sick.it was him cause he would allways make us eat something before we left and it always tasted funny.i wouldnt be suprised he foodpoised my sis.finaly my mom got an apartment and i moved to live with her.my dad payed people to record us and follow us.we were scared.we couldnt report it.wat proof did we have?later we moved with another aunt and all3of us shared 1 room.we got our own house and things seemed to calm down.i did things i regret.only my mom knows and close friends.i got really depressed in 5&6 grade i berly talked.i had to push myself to talk.

At times we had courts.My dad had done so much to us.he always tried to seem like the good guy though.i entered to middle school and there was still court going on.i remeber i couldnt go on my first day cause of it.i cryed.so there was still promblems.now this school year came and i knew my mom was talking about moving to arizona.now shes serious about it.i have drama at school like every teenager.but to move to arizona we need more money so we moved to my sis house.imma go on homestudies cause its hard for me to go to school now.and on Nov. 15 2k11(my dads b-day)my bestfriend passed away.im still hurting from that.knew her for years.couldnt go to school for days.now to move to arizona i have to leave everything.family,friends,memories…and i always have to be careful on what to say around my dad. we planning to tell my dad in a month.we dont want to tell him to early so he wont try to stop us.so theres gonna be alot of drama…soo yeah and drama at school to top it off.having to breaking up with my bf too. idk and for 3 years know im emotionless. i cant feel emotions anymore. one of my deepest secrets…

what you guys think? Should i go? And feel like im crazy… /: i wanna hear from real people what you guys have to say.
my dad soo far is way better, not doing anything like he used to but we’re still scared. just pray please

Best answer:

Answer by Regina
Bless your heart sweetheart your dad shouldn’t even be able to have y’all but I do think you should go I don’t thik it will make ufeel like a crazy erson theropy makes people feel better I think it will help you

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