Question by Protecting the baby: Nieces in foster care? How will DSS know I would take them?
Some might remember me asking questions about this but for those who don’t, I’ll give you a little background. I have a cousin who is a drug addict. She has a 9 year old & a 4 month old. She also had a son that was 3 months old when he died (he would be about 3 now). He was born at 5.5 lbs and died at 7 lbs (3 months later). My whole family turned a blind eye to her addictions during her pregnancy and the neglect after he was born. When he died, they said it was only a matter of time because he was so “sickly”. Then she got pregnant with the baby she has now. She, once again, did the drugs and the baby has been neglected. At it’s 6 week check-up, the baby had only gained 1 oz. but again, my family turned a blind eye. No one has gotten attached to this baby because of the prior incident with the boy. I called DSS on her. They went in and took the baby to the doctor (and verified that she had only gained 1 oz). Then they monitored for a week, took the baby back again and she had gained a whole pound! To me that spells neglect. DSS decided to keep monitoring her and said that they wouldn’t close the case until she had doubled in size. I was happy with that. Then about a month later, I get a call from another cousin saying that the mother had gotten drugged out of her mind and given the baby Mike’s Hard Lemonade in a bottle and the baby was throwing up. My family decided to cover for her by taking the baby to an aunt’s house and watching the baby for her. I called the police but by the time they got there, the baby had been moved and they couldn’t find her. The next day, I again called DSS. This time, the children were taken away and placed with the aunt that kept the baby that night. I was upset that they placed with her because she’s the one that kept the baby, knowing it was throwing up alcohol all night. She didn’t want to get her niece in trouble so she didn’t take the baby to the hospital. But I think it was the best location for the kids because she could take them to school and she could take care of them better in a short term setting than me. I live an hour away and the oldest would have had to change schools (and they only placed them for 3 months). DSS said that they were only giving the mother 3 months to change or they would terminate her rights. I have pretty much been thrown out of my family because of this. I knew that they would know I’m the one that called but at the time, it was the best thing for those kids. I truly believe with all my heart that she was trying to kill this baby (starvation, alcohol, etc.). Anyway, it’s been a month (since they were removed) and I haven’t seen anyone in my family until this weekend. My grandfather was having a birthday party and I went (I was raised by my grandparents and refuse to not see them because of the situation because i have a lot of respect and love for them). My other cousins were telling me that the aunt that has the kids does NOT want to adopt them but they didn’t think my cousin would get them back because she isn’t doing anything to help herself. One of my cousins said they are looking to give the kids to the fathers. The oldest child’s dad has never seen her and she is 9 years old. He has always known that she exists but he has always denied her and doesn’t want anything to do with her. I doubt he would take her. The baby’s dad is a drug addict also and he was raising a little girl of his own (she is about 7, I think) and she was removed from his home by DSS (right before he got the new baby) and she was placed outside his family. I doubt he would be able to get custody, right? My husband and I are foster care licensed and we would take the children (Both of them) but I’m not sure we are even being looked at because I know my family thinks that’s why I called DSS in the first place. It’s not the reason and if it was, why would I have suggested to the social worker that my aunt could take them better than us? My family just spends so much time covering for her and her mistakes all the time, no matter who they have to blame. So my question is this…..What do I do now to let them know we would take the kids if they need to be placed????? Theorically, I would like for my cousin to get them back. They are her children. My family is trying to remodel her house for her to get them back (it needed to be tore down because it’s a mess) instead of addressing the drug abuse. They think DSS will see a shiny new home and let the kids move back with her. I don’t think DSS is buying it and can see that she is not addressing the drug issue.
I know this is long but any advice I can get would be appreciated. I don’t want these children split up and placed outside of our family (even though my family is all crazy most of the time).
I’m not worried about dealing with my family because I knew I was getting into this knee deep when I called DSS. I knew my family would be like this. I just refuse to have this baby’s blood on my hands because I didn’t do anyth
I thought the aunt was a better choice because I’m an hour away and I would have to change the 9 year old’s school and at first, thought it would be temporary. I’m shocked that my cousin is not making the necessary changes to get them back. My niece goes to a charter school and I know it was a lottery to get in. If I knew then that it would be permanent, I would have thought differently. The social worker thought it was the best idea too for short term but my aunt has health issues so it’s tough for her. I think she thought it would be easier to have a baby around but it’s wearing her out.
Best answer:
Answer by Rosie Call the caseworker for the child, make an appointment, and tell her what you wrote here.
And God Bless you for caring and not enabling drug abuse and child neglect.
Question by Protecting the baby: Two Nieces in foster care? I need some advice please!! Sorry but it’s a long story…?
Some of you might remember me asking questions about this but for those who don’t, I’ll give you a little background. I have a cousin who is a drug addict. She has a 9 year old and a 4 month old. She also had a son that was 3 months old when he died (he would be about 3 now). He was born at 5.5 lbs and died at 7 lbs (3 months later). It was ruled SIDS and my whole family turned a blind eye to the fact that she did drugs the whole time she was pregnant with him and neglected him after he was born. When the little fellow died, my family said it was only a matter of time because he was so “sickly”. Then she got pregnant with the baby she has now. She, once again, did the drugs and the baby was being neglected. At it’s 6 week check-up, the baby had only gained 1 oz. but again, my family turned a blind eye. No one has gotten attached to this baby because of the prior incident with the boy. I called DSS on her. They went in and took the baby to the doctor (and verified that she had only gained 1 oz). Then the monitored my cousin for a week, took the baby back again and she had gained a whole pound! To me that spells neglect. DSS decided to keep monitoring her and said that they wouldn’t close the case until she had doubled in size. About a month later, I get a call from another cousin saying that the mother had gotten drugged out of her mind and given the baby Mike’s Hard Lemonade in a bottle and the baby was throwing up. My family decided to cover for her by taking the baby to an aunt’s house and watching the baby for her. I called the police but by the time they got there, the baby had been moved and they couldn’t find her. The next day, I again called DSS. This time, the children were taken away and placed with the aunt that kept the baby that night. I was a little mad that they placed with her because she’s the one that kept the baby, knowing it was throwing up alcohol all night. She didn’t want to get her niece in trouble so she didn’t take the baby to the hospital. In the end, I did decide it was the best location for the kids because she could take them to school and she could take care of them better in a short term setting than me. I live an hour away and the oldest would have had to change schools (and they only placed them for 3 months). DSS said that they were only giving the mother 3 months to change or they weren’t playing around with her and they would terminate her rights. I have pretty much been thrown out of my family because of this. I knew that they would know I’m the one that called but at the time, it was the best thing for those kids. I truly believe with all my heart that she was trying to kill this baby (starvation, alcohol, etc.). Anyway, it’s been a month (since they were removed) and I haven’t seen anyone in my family until this weekend. My grandfather was having a birthday party and I went (I was raised by my grandparents and refuse to not see them because of the situation because i have a lot of respect and love for them). My other cousins were telling me that the aunt that has the kids does NOT want to adopt them but they didn’t think my cousin would get them back because she isn’t doing anything to help herself. One of my cousins said they are looking to give the kids to the fathers. The oldest child’s dad has never seen her and she is 9 years old. He has always known that she exists but he has always denied her and doesn’t want anything to do with her. I doubt he would take her. The baby’s dad is a drug addict also and he was raising a little girl of his own (she is about 7, I think) and she was removed from his home by DSS (right before he got the new baby) and she was placed outside his family. I doubt he would be able to get custody, right? My husband and I are foster care licensed and we would take the children (Both of them) but I’m not sure we are even being looked at because I know my family thinks that’s why I called DSS in the first place. It’s not the reason and if it was, why would I have suggested to the social worker that my aunt could take them better than us? My family just spends so much time covering for her and her mistakes all the time, no matter who they have to blame. So my question is this…..What do I do now to let them know we would take the kids if they need to be placed????? Theorically, I would like for my cousin to get them back. They are her children. My family is trying to remodel her house for her to get them back (it needed to be tore down because it’s a mess) instead of addressing the drug abuse. They think DSS will see a shiny new home and let the kids move back with her. I don’t think DSS is buying it and can see that she is not addressing the drug issue.
I know this is long but any advice I can get would be appreciated. I don’t want these children split up and placed outside of our family (even though my family is all crazy most of the time).
I’m not worried about dealing with my family because I knew I was getting into this knee deep when I called DSS. I knew my family would be like this. I just refuse to have this baby’s blood on my hands because I didn’t do anything. I will have to be the one answering to God on my judgement day if I had did nothing.
Best answer:
Answer by Nicky Their mother isn’t capable of caring for her children, period. Whether it’s something that happens in the future remains to be seen. The aunt caring for the children isn’t making the best choices for their safety, that child could have died from alcohol poisoning. Call social services, let them know you’d like to take your nieces/nephews long term and keep them informed about what’s going on with your family. You do not want these children in foster care, you know the best place for them is in your home, so make sure nothing bad happens and get them where you know they’re safe.
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My aunt has told me that it is going to be really hard & honestly i don’t know because my baby now he is the most chillax person i have ever met.. Granted he cries when he wants food or when he needs a diaper change other than that he is okay… Any mothers out there had a newborn and 15 month old?? I am pregnant now and not due to March 24, 2012. Let me know )
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