Poker Fashion – Get Ready for the Tables
Does fashion determine success in poker? After witnessing several tournaments, I can say that there is no event in the world with more fashion and age diversity than the World Poker Series. People of all ages, styles and backgrounds gather to compete with one another. You can truly find any look you can think of in the poker scene.
We will go beyond the obvious hat and sunglasses to see the group styles and the scattered horror looks that desperately need a makeover. After all, all that money could be put to good fashionable use!
We start this juicy piece by commenting on the established styles some players have adopted, whether it is for comfort, habit, or an (often successful) intention to create an image.
Male WSOP fashion can be classified into 9 groups.
The college student. It’s a known fact that the college crowd has a taste for the game, but some people just never get over the college look. There is the cool college guy look: the slender but muscular guys that look like they didn’t take a shower, just threw on any cotton shirt they found on the floor and a cool hat and they still manage to look like the latest indie rock star, with “sex symbol” written all over them! They seem to be full of confidence and intellectual appeal, even if the latter ends when they open their mouth. And don’t forget the college cap-backwards, frat-boy look; it still works! Then, there is of course the dorky college look. There’s people who never grow out of the nerdy style or are just very comfy in their freshman fashion: I am talking pastel-striped shirts, white sneakers, khakis, boxy haircut…what could be more charming? And last but not least, the computer-geek or trekkie look. Oh, the pale skin, jedi-like expression and washed-out dark cotton T or sweatshirt with the short untouched baby hair…so sweet!
The teenage star. Some players sport high-fashion choppy haircuts like the ones seen in videos of NSYNC and the Back Street Boys, no to mention the European-style dress shirts that make them look like they just won a MTV award. These pretty-faced boys have the air of confidence and glamour of teenage stars.
The cowboy. Hail all Doyle Brunson followers! Yes, we are talking about your big hats and fierce cowboy stares, button-down shirts and boots. Yeeee-ha!!!
The family guy. All those players who have lost their slender figure and wear a uniform of a white or yellow t-shirt with some jeans, shorts or slacks, but still shave and have neat haircuts, remind me of the dads you see at department stores, the movies, amusement parks or fast-food restaurants with their families on Sunday afternoons. Don’t dismiss them because of this – they could yet show you who’s the daddy at the table!
The sports fan. This is probably the most popular fashion tribe in poker: cotton t-shirts under hoodies, a baseball hat, jeans and sneakers sum it all. The only difference is that instead of being at the stadium watching their favorite game, they are playing it!
The poker billboard. Come on, anybody that has more than 4 patches with poker names on their sweatshirts is a human billboard. Yes, we know you are being sponsored, but tell your sponsor there’s no need to turn you into an eyesore.
The playboy. Yes, you know who I am talking about. Glossy, designer sweat suits, sunglasses and a bling-bling smile that only says “come to me, babe…”
The gangster. This category is very diverse, since it includes players of different ethnicities who choose this particular look to adopt a mysterious, dangerous air. There is also the American mob look: tough, big guys who nobody should mess with. It works every time!
The business man. This is the classiest look: attractive middle-aged men who look like they were just at a conference room giving condescending lectures to their board of directors and then stopped by to play some poker.
Female poker fashion is not as varied, since they are still a minority at the tables, but we’re bound to see more styles as their numbers increase. However, they still make 4 fashion groups.
The tough-but-hot mama. Attractive middle-aged women who look as if they take no games from anyone. They will take all your chips and grind you to dust, all the while smiling sweetly and talking about their children.
The sports-illustrated babe. I am sure showing off well-stacked cleavages, kittenish hair and glossy makeup is part of their distracting strategy. Good call, girls!
The business woman. Very classy and elegant players of all ages pull this look off to perfection. It gives them the right confidence for the game plus suggests they know it all about winning.
The girl next door. Cute, fresh faces with fashionable clothes and a smile that misleads any sexist contender. Good strategy!
The moment of truth has come. Let’s now talk about the unique and peculiar looks that sometimes make it seem more like a tacky-movie character reunion than a poker event.
The weird and wonderful. We have definitely spotted the occasional purple or green hair dyes that can be hallmarked miles away, the bikers, the five-year-old girl face that will surely leave you broke, the country Jesus, the Asian-dragon guy, the punks, the skin-heads and the I-don’t know-what look. Seriously. What a melting pot. Some of these people should rethink their wardrobes, especially if they care enough about their image to choose such accessories!
Well, I surely said it all. But even if I may have raised some eyebrows, I must insist that I truly enjoy each player’s uniqueness, even when it is not necessarily prompting the kind of effect they intended.
The bottom line is: your style makes you visible, we love to watch you play and we love you all the way you are! See you at the next series. Bring out your Sunday best!
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